Mycroft confesses

Mycroft is forced to confess that he does not know how people actually speak.  His criticisms of 'The Block' speech and grammar is based on a flawed understanding of how the 'young folks' actually speak.

I'm listening to a couple of them right now.  It actually is a couple.  The woman is sitting on a lounge in a student lounge room in a university while a man sprawls on the lounge with his head on her lap. No mean feat as he has the silliest skater cap in the world on his head.  With long, lank, hair he looks like Martin Bryant in a silly hat.  He sounds like Shaggy from Scooby Doo, only more stoned.  Every syllable is drawn out into a tired drawl as though every utterance is an effort.

He's doing better than his girlfriend anyway, who looks to be in her 20s but sounds about 10.  Though a 10 year old would be more articulate.  She peppers her sentences with "whaaat?' and inane giggles, every now and again saying long words such as 'awesome'.  The occasional inane giggles at least break up the flow of meaningless, inane, chatter.  I've heard more exciting conversation by pulling the cord on an old fashioned talking doll.

Contributing further to the joy of the experience of sitting near these clowns is that one or both of them smells.  Do they shower?  I have to look away now as they appear to be commencing the early stages of sexual congress (the Sexual Congress was not, of course, the Congress of Vienna or other Congresses of similar sounding names).  Ah, all is well now as the activity has worn them out and they have slumped back into a sloth like level of activity.  Make that an arthritic sloth.  Ah the young folks.  Hopefully they are off now to discover something better than Facebook, such as soap.