Mycroft saw the Sydney Theatre Company production of Les Liaisons Dangereuses on Saturday night and was pleasantly surprised that it was a 'well made play'. I was secretly expecting to be confronted by some bizarre reinterpretation which would, to not put too fine a point on it, suck.
Fortunately this production does not suck. The audience was a little confused at first, as the players were on stage as the audience entered. Undaunted, the Sydney crowd did what it usually does best: sat there and brayed about itself. Fortunately the orgy of self adulation eventually ended and we were able to watch the play. It was so conventional and 'well made' that it was perhaps the 'chocolate box' experience on (anonymous) critic derided when saying that the Belvoir theatre (by way of comparison) does not put on 'chocolate box' type experiences, only confronting incomprehensible rubbish. I have now beheld a chocolate box experience, and it was good.
Sadly one cannot say the same about The Block. The appalling speech and grammar continues to flow from the 'reality stars' in not so much a mangling but a destruction of the English language. I am hoping that the scriptwriters have told them to speak like dullards. If they are doing this by themselves it is rather alarming. Does someone who is married to a school teacher really say "I seen that I did not fill up all the nail holes," instead of "I saw...."? I hope fervently that he was reading from an auto cue. The most irritating trend on the show is that the 'stars' have little interview spots where they tell you what you can see on camera:
Scene: Sovereign Hill gold rush mine theme park thingy
Enter: the cast (cast walks up hill and sees Scotty)
Bogan 1: "So we walked up the hill....."
Bogan 2: "And we seen Scotty...."
Riveting, fantastic reality television, I must say.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Monday, April 23, 2012
The Block - the couples move in
Mycroft is unable to fathom why the contestants are supposedly surprised that the houses they are to renovate are essentially ruins. Did they not watch the last series?
The director seems to be experimenting with filters again. Tonight the experiment seems to be showing some colour on a black and white scene (think the girl in the red dress on Schindler's List). Unfortunately this show is not Oscar winning drama, it's 'reality TV'. It's a bit like watching Teletubbies, in fact, as the viewer is shown what happens several times in case anyone did not understand it on the 1st, 2nd or 3rd occasion.
Mrs S forecast that the contestants would constantly say the following: "oh my God" and "There's no floor". She was of course correct. The "oh my God" count is into the trillions and the show is only 15 minutes old. One would imagine that the director could have told them to try saying something else. Soon we discover they could not be trusted to do so as the contestants offer the following gems:
"It's raining and the rain is literally coming in"
"I am familiar with having a tool in my hand"
The contestants have now reached an orgasmic level of excitement having been presented with vouchers to acquire renovation goods at various stores. Inspirational music plays in the background as the couples discover their vouchers allow them to purchase tins of paint and bedsheets. Once again, they seem not to have watched the last series. They are lucky they don't have to watch this one.
The director seems to be experimenting with filters again. Tonight the experiment seems to be showing some colour on a black and white scene (think the girl in the red dress on Schindler's List). Unfortunately this show is not Oscar winning drama, it's 'reality TV'. It's a bit like watching Teletubbies, in fact, as the viewer is shown what happens several times in case anyone did not understand it on the 1st, 2nd or 3rd occasion.
Mrs S forecast that the contestants would constantly say the following: "oh my God" and "There's no floor". She was of course correct. The "oh my God" count is into the trillions and the show is only 15 minutes old. One would imagine that the director could have told them to try saying something else. Soon we discover they could not be trusted to do so as the contestants offer the following gems:
"It's raining and the rain is literally coming in"
"I am familiar with having a tool in my hand"
The contestants have now reached an orgasmic level of excitement having been presented with vouchers to acquire renovation goods at various stores. Inspirational music plays in the background as the couples discover their vouchers allow them to purchase tins of paint and bedsheets. Once again, they seem not to have watched the last series. They are lucky they don't have to watch this one.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
The Voice
Greetings readers. Tonight Mycroft is watching another 'The' show. This time it is 'The Voice'. The chief entertainment value of this show is the vaguely fascist orientation of the sets. The centrepiece is a fist clutching a microphone, and giving a 'v' for victory sign. Surrounding this centrepiece are banners hanging down from the walls, coloured red and white and black. It's like 'Young Talent Time' meets Leni Riefenstahl's 'Triumph of the Will'.
Mycroft has also had a weekend on the roads and in the company of Mrs S and Miss Fluffy was able to identify some of the leading indicators of the motoring loser. The top 5 indicators of danger are summarised below:
1. The car sickness strap. Incredibly, some still believe that attaching a rubber strap to a car so it drags on the road will prevent car sickness. This was a far more common belief in the 1960s and 70s and was often accompanied by the wearing of a hat, or the coating of the interior (which was vinyl) in a layer of clear plastic.
2. The frangipani sticker on the rear window. Usually found on a Hyundai Excel, this sticker spells danger. This, or any other flower sticker. The only more concerning sticker is the even more ludicrous 'Magic Happens' sticker, usually found on VW Kombi vans driven by manufacturers of fairy paraphernalia.
3. NSW number plates that have three groups of two characters. For some reason these seem to feature on cars driven erratically. There is no science to support the contention that these are 'special' plates, however watch this space for the research to emerge.
4. Weather shields on the side windows. These survive into the present day when their former companion pieces, the external sun shade (over the front windscreen) and rear window 'louvre' have disappeared. The immense plastic window shield was often found on the driver's window of taxis or company cars in the 1970s. The idea was that you could have the window open to rest your elbow on it, and puff on a smoke, and rain would stay out. This of course did not work, even though the plastic shield was bigger than a riot squad member's plastic shield. Smaller versions of the weather shield survive, though to what purpose no-one knows as they would appear even less capable of keeping weather out. If you see a car fitted with these stupid things, watch out.
5. Any Mitsubishi Lancer 3 door. For some reason, these cars seem to be the vehicle of choice for many who simply can't drive. Usually seen on the roads looking tatty, and filled to the gunwales with heaps of clothes or perhaps sporting items jammed against the windows, these are best avoided.
Mycroft has also had a weekend on the roads and in the company of Mrs S and Miss Fluffy was able to identify some of the leading indicators of the motoring loser. The top 5 indicators of danger are summarised below:
1. The car sickness strap. Incredibly, some still believe that attaching a rubber strap to a car so it drags on the road will prevent car sickness. This was a far more common belief in the 1960s and 70s and was often accompanied by the wearing of a hat, or the coating of the interior (which was vinyl) in a layer of clear plastic.
2. The frangipani sticker on the rear window. Usually found on a Hyundai Excel, this sticker spells danger. This, or any other flower sticker. The only more concerning sticker is the even more ludicrous 'Magic Happens' sticker, usually found on VW Kombi vans driven by manufacturers of fairy paraphernalia.
3. NSW number plates that have three groups of two characters. For some reason these seem to feature on cars driven erratically. There is no science to support the contention that these are 'special' plates, however watch this space for the research to emerge.
4. Weather shields on the side windows. These survive into the present day when their former companion pieces, the external sun shade (over the front windscreen) and rear window 'louvre' have disappeared. The immense plastic window shield was often found on the driver's window of taxis or company cars in the 1970s. The idea was that you could have the window open to rest your elbow on it, and puff on a smoke, and rain would stay out. This of course did not work, even though the plastic shield was bigger than a riot squad member's plastic shield. Smaller versions of the weather shield survive, though to what purpose no-one knows as they would appear even less capable of keeping weather out. If you see a car fitted with these stupid things, watch out.
5. Any Mitsubishi Lancer 3 door. For some reason, these cars seem to be the vehicle of choice for many who simply can't drive. Usually seen on the roads looking tatty, and filled to the gunwales with heaps of clothes or perhaps sporting items jammed against the windows, these are best avoided.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
The Block - The latest couples challenge
Hello readers. Regular readers who have been following Mycroft's analysis of Channel 9's 'The Block' will be delighted to know that last night's episode served up more of the same. Last night, Brendan and Michelle were defeated by Sophie and Dale. Readers will not be surprised that as each approached the famous 'Big Red House' they commented on the following:
1. They were given an address
2. They walked up the road (presumably as instructed by an assistant director)
3. They saw a big red house
Truly stunning television.
Readers will also be pleased to hear that the judges once again were given an eerie glow by some weird filter on the camera lens. This looks very odd on the bald guy. Sadly, the judges' activity rate has not really lifted and they continue to make a few limp comments about whatever is put in front of them. Seriously, they have so little to say they could be replaced by three garden gnomes. However, beware of the Nazi garden gnomes:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/5889318/German-Nazi-gnome-not-illegal.html
1. They were given an address
2. They walked up the road (presumably as instructed by an assistant director)
3. They saw a big red house
Truly stunning television.
Readers will also be pleased to hear that the judges once again were given an eerie glow by some weird filter on the camera lens. This looks very odd on the bald guy. Sadly, the judges' activity rate has not really lifted and they continue to make a few limp comments about whatever is put in front of them. Seriously, they have so little to say they could be replaced by three garden gnomes. However, beware of the Nazi garden gnomes:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/5889318/German-Nazi-gnome-not-illegal.html
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
The Block and shonky dialogue
Greetings readers. For those watching 'The Block', perhaps you share Mycroft's amazement that every 'couple' is introduced to the elimination challenge by a shot of them walking up the street. For each and every couple, it goes something like this:
Enter Couple.
Couple: "We were given an address and then we walked up the street and there was a big red house there"
Camera pans to Scotty.
Scotty: "Welcome to my big red elimination house"
Then there is an interview about the introduction:
Enter Couple.
Couple Person 1: "We were given an address and then we walked up the street and there was a big red house there"
Couple Person 2: "We were given an address and then we walked up the street and there was a big red house there"
Seriously, is this the best the director could do? Sadly I suspect the answer is 'yes'.
Other 'strange' events in the show include:
1. Each team picks the same colour paint for their room
2. Each team has an utterly piss-weak 'crisis' such as the phone battery being flat or a 15 ton piece of furniture won't fit in the back of a (no name) car
3. The father/daughter team where the father seems to have had a complete personality bypass
4. The eerie glow around the bald judge's head caused by a rather strange lens filter on the camera
Enter Couple.
Couple: "We were given an address and then we walked up the street and there was a big red house there"
Camera pans to Scotty.
Scotty: "Welcome to my big red elimination house"
Then there is an interview about the introduction:
Enter Couple.
Couple Person 1: "We were given an address and then we walked up the street and there was a big red house there"
Couple Person 2: "We were given an address and then we walked up the street and there was a big red house there"
Seriously, is this the best the director could do? Sadly I suspect the answer is 'yes'.
Other 'strange' events in the show include:
1. Each team picks the same colour paint for their room
2. Each team has an utterly piss-weak 'crisis' such as the phone battery being flat or a 15 ton piece of furniture won't fit in the back of a (no name) car
3. The father/daughter team where the father seems to have had a complete personality bypass
4. The eerie glow around the bald judge's head caused by a rather strange lens filter on the camera
Monday, April 16, 2012
The Block and all shows beginning 'The'
Hello Blog-o-Verse. All will be pleased to know that TV ratings season is here and the networks are rolling out their top rating shows. First up is The Block. In tonight's episode, couple Dan and Dani wow the viewers with their spectacular mangling of the English language. The other couple featured tonight, Courtney and Mr Boofhead (Brad), are not much better in their banal observations. "Like it's just surreal with everything totally happening at once" and "Like, it's totally such an overwhelming experience...." and "Dan please give your friggin honest opinion about something."
Strangely, for a show that thrives on product placement, the exterior of the cars the contestants are driving has not been shown once, nor has any car company badge. Perhaps the cars are a big secret?
After 'The Block' is another 'The' show....'The Voice' soon to be followed by yet another 'The' show, with 'The Celebrity Apprentice'. At least 'The Celebrity Apprentice' will feature 'The Hoff'. Tremendous excitement at over use of the word 'The'.
Now The Block judges are judging the first room. One utters the prize winning sentence (talking about a mock decoration searchlight): "What they've done is interpreted the mood of that light really well." Lights have moods? Dan and Dani, having been judged worthy to move into the competition, have an attack of the weepies. The auto cue must have told them to burst into tears.
Strangely, for a show that thrives on product placement, the exterior of the cars the contestants are driving has not been shown once, nor has any car company badge. Perhaps the cars are a big secret?
After 'The Block' is another 'The' show....'The Voice' soon to be followed by yet another 'The' show, with 'The Celebrity Apprentice'. At least 'The Celebrity Apprentice' will feature 'The Hoff'. Tremendous excitement at over use of the word 'The'.
Now The Block judges are judging the first room. One utters the prize winning sentence (talking about a mock decoration searchlight): "What they've done is interpreted the mood of that light really well." Lights have moods? Dan and Dani, having been judged worthy to move into the competition, have an attack of the weepies. The auto cue must have told them to burst into tears.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Mycroft and the normalcy patterns of the suburb
Hello readers, Mycroft is pleased to let you know the results of his observations over the week from ranging far and wide beyond his own street. In no particular order, a few things have emerged this week.
Firstly, someone up the road is a fabulous gardener. Think a controlled version of Day of the Triffids. Their garden is completely covered in plants - no need for bark mulch or wood chips or anything - every square centimetre is covered with a plant. That makes up for some of the rubbish gardens.
Actually, they are literally rubbish gardens as they are filled in some cases with old phone books (how did they come to have so many?), furniture and alcohol containers. The overflowing ash tray completes the ensemble at some places. One imagines the troglodytic denizens out in the front garden puffing on a smoke, downing a beer and belting themselves over the head with phone books while standing on an imitation Chesterfield. Truly there is no limit to human ingenuity.
There is also a rather odd 'Steptoe and Son' (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steptoe_and_Son) house not far away where the inhabitants keep a truck piled high with rubbish. It changes over every now and again. Not long ago they had a house warming where partially well dressed bogans turned up and greeted each other with the universal greeting of 'arrrgh'. That noise seems to be a multi purpose noise and the meaning remains unclear. The truck piled high with rubbish is a departure from a common vehicle type, that being the mass produced coupe with a stupidly loud exhaust that actually slows the car down (due to weight and loss of efficiency). Another popular type is the car or ute with an alarm that chirps when armed, so the whole street knows the owner has set the alarm on their car which is such rubbish even a caveman who was desperate to drive somewhere would not steal it. When the poorly installed alarm flattens the battery the car sits in the street and honks itself into submission. Pity the owners would not follow suit.
Firstly, someone up the road is a fabulous gardener. Think a controlled version of Day of the Triffids. Their garden is completely covered in plants - no need for bark mulch or wood chips or anything - every square centimetre is covered with a plant. That makes up for some of the rubbish gardens.
Actually, they are literally rubbish gardens as they are filled in some cases with old phone books (how did they come to have so many?), furniture and alcohol containers. The overflowing ash tray completes the ensemble at some places. One imagines the troglodytic denizens out in the front garden puffing on a smoke, downing a beer and belting themselves over the head with phone books while standing on an imitation Chesterfield. Truly there is no limit to human ingenuity.
There is also a rather odd 'Steptoe and Son' (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steptoe_and_Son) house not far away where the inhabitants keep a truck piled high with rubbish. It changes over every now and again. Not long ago they had a house warming where partially well dressed bogans turned up and greeted each other with the universal greeting of 'arrrgh'. That noise seems to be a multi purpose noise and the meaning remains unclear. The truck piled high with rubbish is a departure from a common vehicle type, that being the mass produced coupe with a stupidly loud exhaust that actually slows the car down (due to weight and loss of efficiency). Another popular type is the car or ute with an alarm that chirps when armed, so the whole street knows the owner has set the alarm on their car which is such rubbish even a caveman who was desperate to drive somewhere would not steal it. When the poorly installed alarm flattens the battery the car sits in the street and honks itself into submission. Pity the owners would not follow suit.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Mobility for puppies
It's quite hard to see in this photograph but there is a small terrier in the front basket of this mobility scooter, out and about in Sydney's inner west. It is a little like Audrey Hepburn's terrier, Mr Famous, who travelled in the basket of her pushbike (around the studios in Hollywood).
As for Miss Fluffy, she has to rely on her own four paws to get around. On her last stroll around the area, she met a creature somewhat larger than her. She did not seem to mind too much, eventually wandering around as though her new colleague was her size.
Miss Fluffy is helping Mycroft watch the Aussie version of Top Gear. I must admit it's hard to take an immense interest in it, though it is kind of funny watching the Top Gear crew driving hens around on a hens' night. The girls seem to be enjoying the Rooty Hill RSL more than the Jaguar they have been forced to climb into.....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)