The Oscars approach

The blog-o-verse is no doubt fascinated at the impending screening of the Oscars.  One suspects the Golden Turkeys would be a far more popular and indeed funnier show.  Mycroft does not plan to watch.  There is sure to be something far more interesting to do.  For what it is worth, Mycroft has had a stab at a few of the winners, just to enter into the fun of it all:

Best actor - George Clooney in 'The Descendants'.
Best actress - Margaret Thatcher playing Meryl Streep in 'Thatcherism'.
Best picture - no idea.  Almost anything will do.

I believe 'Albert Nobbs' was nominated for something.  Possibly the longest list of word associations available in an art house film.  Sadly, other regular characters featured in this blog such as the Mysterons get nothing.  Perhaps one day there will be a category for 'Most useless alien enemies in a TV puppet show'.

I am working my way through the novel 'The Silk Road' by Colin Falconer.  It can be a bit heavy going at times but I sense that the pace of the narrative is picking up as I pass the half way point.  In the novel, a Templar knight journeys to ancient China for some reason I've now forgotten (and I suspect so has everyone else).  The characters do say lots of enigmatic things to each other and there is a bit of sword and sandal stuff.  Also some racy parts that are not quite Mills and Boon romance.  Kind of 'Shogun' by James Clavell but in an earlier time and in China.  We'll see how this one finishes up.

If you can't find a good book to read, start a blog.  The blog-o-verse needs you.  Happy writing.  In the photo below, Miss Fluffy helps out:

Dog friendly

Mycroft has been horrified to learn from a reader that a certain university campus has banned companion animals as apparently one animal had an accident in an office.  This seems to Mycroft to be a bit rich as all sorts of things happen on campus - apparently at one college some official function had semi naked waitstaff - and no-one gets banned.  So, one fluffy creature has an accident and they are all banned.

Mycroft suggests that bringing a dog to work is a localised matter not one for campus wide policy.  If you have an office and the dog is confined there except when you bring it in and out, then there should be no problem.  If the dog is noisy when you are not there then that could be a problem, but if the dog or dogs sleep quietly until you come back, then once again no problem.  A badly toilet trained dog would be a problem and of course should not be brought to work.  Similarly, an aggressive dog would be unsuitable for work.  Mycroft knows that in the case of his reader it is two dogs who are being brought to work, lovely fluffy creatures who exist only to be friendly and loving!

Mycroft proposes that where a dog has shown itself to be a valued part of the office, those in Authority in their Ivory Tower should be contacted with a petition that appeals for said dog to be allowed to stay.  Alternatively, wait a bit and the anti dog policy will be forgotten amongst all the other unread policies, waste paper and general nonsense.   Or put a vest on the dog/dogs that looks slightly official (put a badge on it) and make up a set of credentials in a plastic sleeve (stating that the dog is approved by 'administration' and scrawl an illegible signature over the word 'Director').

Slack at blogging

I must apologise to the blog-o-verse that I have been a little tardy getting my next post out there.  I can only offer the excuse that I have been setting about becoming a student.  This is not as easy as it sounds.

Language:  One must say "like" a lot.  It is the equivalent of "um".  In addition, one must say "awesome" frequently, perhaps every second word.

Demographics: My university is perplexed by the notion of anyone over the age of 17 enrolling.  Introductory speeches are peppered with references to "what you did last year in your HSC/Year 12".

Geography: None.  This is why smartphones have GPS, to enable students to navigate the campus.  What pass for 'Campus Directories' are not.  The signs provide a place for sparrows to perch on but for actual directions you might as well look at a rock.

Fascism: Crowds of boosters in identically coloured shirts direct your movement, ensuring that queues are straight, all seats are filled and all questions are answered.  I remembered that students used to be a little more anarchic.  Someone is still putting up Marxist posters but these are on the designated noticeboards.  Amazingly, so are the anarchist posters.

Like awesome, dudes.

Puppy in the country

Photo: Mycroft Snooks



What an 'interesting' week in the news....the 'leadership challenge' story regarding Kevin Rudd and Julia Gillard continues to creak on.  Much more interesting to view the picture above of puppy under the big sky.  Miss Fluffy enjoyed a run in the open fields before adjourning to a cafe to read up on some current affairs, as shown below....

Photo: Mycroft Snooks





While at the cafe with Miss Fluffy, Mycroft had the opportunity to review books read recently.  We recently discussed 'The Year After' by Martin Davies.  Also read was 'How I became a Famous Novelist' by Steve Hely.  This novel parodies the 'prize winning' literary style which seems to be so popular. It was generally quite funny.  Towards the end, though, it seemed to veer towards preaching a bit of a homily (as though the author was saying "I didn't really mean to poke fun at Literature because it really is serious").  So 5/10 for this one for not following through and really smashing 'literary' novels. 

Mycroft has started another two books.  One is 'Chango's Beads and Two-Tone Shoes' by William Kennedy.  It has reviewed well but I must confess that so far it is heavy going.  If I may whisper it, I'm finding it quite....boring.  Sorry.  It's really literary but it's not really drawing me in.  I had a similar problem with 'A Place of Greater Safety' by Hilary Mantel, eventually abandoning the book when I frankly got sick of the violence (of the French Revolution). I know the narrative was going somewhere but it did not seem to be taking me along with it. 'Wolf Hall', Hilary Mantel's 2009 Man Booker Prize winner, I did persevere with and eventually enjoyed. 

The other book Mycroft has started is 'Yossarian Slept Here' by Erica Heller, daughter of Joseph Heller of 'Catch-22' fame.  I was present for a lecture by Joseph Heller in 1999.  It cannot have been long before his death, and I have a copy of 'Catch 22' which he signed.  'Catch 22' was probably my favourite novel in high school, as perhaps the cynical humour in it struck a chord with me.  Erica's book is also a little hard to get into but we shall persevere and see how it goes.  Unfortunately, some books just need to be abandoned no matter how worthy the subject matter. 

Ah the country

Mycroft is pleased to report his return to the Big Smoke from the Country.  A wealth of new urban observations will now be re-opened up.  The country was an enjoyable place, notable for the lack of aircraft noise and only very rare vehicle noise.  The presence of wild creatures was a another bonus.  I know rabbits are a pest but seeing one like this is sure to make the average city person go 'awwww':

Photo: Wikipedia

Mycroft and family also observed a rather large wombat, not once but twice at the same bend in the road.  This particular one seemed to be having a rather bad hair day as it did not look immaculately groomed like the one on 'A Country Practice' (see below, the wombat is the one on the left).

Photo: Australian Centre for the Moving Image

One thing the country seems to have in common with the city is a preference for the citizens to restrict their getting pissed in public parks to the daytime.  This picture below is from Sydney's Inner West:

 

Photo: Mycroft Snooks

Ignore the sign about bird feeding, which has to be worth a blog entry itself, and read the sign prohibiting alcohol consumption between sunset and sunrise.  Similar signs appeared in a number of rural council areas Mycroft visited.  It seems a curious prohibition.  Is daytime consumption of booze more acceptable than night time consumption?  Is there a danger of some sort of combination of drinking and illegal bird feeding?  Spilling the bird seed due to being pissed at night in bad light? These are the big questions of the day. 

Mycroft is keen to point out that he does not like to see people adversely affected by alcohol at any time of the day, in a park or anywhere else.  He also dislikes pigeons being fed (unless of course they are eating their natural food....pigeons feeding their babies is of course absolutely approved of....) in parks, on the street, in space, etc

Stay tuned for other things Mycroft approves or disapproves of.  I don't know whether I approve or disapprove yet but I've been watching the TV show 'Excess Baggage'.  To learn more about the show click here:  http://channelnine.ninemsn.com.au/excessbaggage/

It's worth looking at the site for some fabulous spelling howlers.  For example:  'The teams face their feers with another breakthrough challenge, this time they have to absail down a dam wall.'  While I think of it, 'Absail' is also incorrect spelling.  The show is curiously engaging, as the contestants have clearly been coached to hold nothing back in front of the camera (or they have grown accustomed to the presence of a camera).  Mycroft is waiting for the first 'elimination' show, where it's likely the real tears and delivery of homilies will get underway.  The panel of judges have also been pretty wooden so far, asking penetrating questions like "how does that make you feel?" Something more interesting is needed if it is to keep Mycroft's interest.  One of the contestants telling the psych about having an imaginary friend, or communicating only through a sock puppet, would be more like it....

Travels with Miss Fluffy

Actually today has been rather rain affected again, so Miss Fluffy the Chihuahua has been napping in various places - usually on someone's lap. She is a lap dog after all. I was quite entertained to learn that one of the early benefits of lap dogs (or sleeve dogs, as they sometimes were) in Medieval times was that fleas would jump from the human onto the dog. These small dogs, supplied by enterprising merchants, were much sought after.

Anyway, little Madam needs a walk. As long as the grass stays wet it will be hard to persuade her to go out. She will tiptoe over the grass while offering a look of disapproval that Chihuahua owners know so well.

Another good reason to go out is that it is a rather slow news day, so not much to see on the 6pm news. Sad news of the death of Whitney Houston, once the biggest star in pop music. Even a movie star for a time, with Kevin Costner in 'The Bodyguard" at a time when Costner was a huge star. Despite having a truly dreadful haircut. In 'The Bodyguard' he appeared to have a squirrel's posterior on his head.

Mycroft recalled the great days of Costner recently, watching 'The Guardian' on television. I never thought the story of heroic rescue swimmers could be turned into such tedious rubbish. I yearned for one of Costner's better efforts in something like 'The Untouchables'.

Miss Fluffy is back on my lap again, so now it is back to one finger typing. Time to pause in one's typing to see what the evening's news brings for incisive comment...

Travels of a puppy

The country is a great place to take a Chihuahua. Perhaps not the outback, but the NSW town of Berry seems to be a jolly place for a little fluffy dog. The Mycroft Snooks companion animal, Jezebel, has been delighted with the attention she receives on the streets of Berry. There was a slight hiccup at one cafe where she was seated too close to the 'inside' part of the cafe to suit council regulations, a move a couple of metres away did the trick and Jezebel was then able to get on with chewing on some Advance dog food and sipping water from a collapsible bowl (for anyone who has never used one - for their pet - these are great).

Berry has some off lead parks and beaches quite nearby. Kiama, famous for the Famous Blowhole (discovered by William of Normandy in 1063), has a wide dog friendly beach and a dog agility park (which we did not visit). Gerringong is between Kiama and Berry, and has a large headland park where dogs can run around. It slopes away down to a surf beach on one side so there is quite a hill for energetic dogs and their owners to bound up. Gerringong and Kiama both have a selection of cafes with outdoor seating where the presence of the Small Fluffy One was not questioned. In Gerringong Jezebel met two large Golden Retrievers and their owner, all very friendly and happy to compare notes on where the fluffy members of the family are welcome to go.

What is interesting in the country is the number of parks where alcohol is banned between sunset and sunrise. Feel free to get absolutely trolleyed in the daytime. This rule also applies at the local park near the Mycroft residence (in Sydney's latte sipping turtleneck wearing Inner West). Stand by for a photo of the sign which announces this decree.

Curiosity shops or antique shops can be interesting in these parts as well. One had a collection of the heroically drawn Commando comics. One I looked at had some Allied commandos fighting the Nazis from undercover jobs in a circus (in 1944...a circus?). The others seemed to have more traditional themes for this genre of revenge or redemption. Some of these shops also have hideously tasteless pieces of 'art' in them. The framed picture of dogs playing pool is an old favourite. Some of the faux-Baroque clocks are also a hoot. These can be great presentation items....leaving a job and want to present something? What about a ceramic Elvis riding a ceramic motorcycle? Go, King!

The Year After

Mycroft must confess to reading 'literary' type novels again. Large format, Booker Prize nominee type novels. My excuse, readers, is that I am in the country and it's raining.
So, what is 'The Year After' all about? One possibility is that the central character (Tom Allen) has heard about Albert Nobbs being the greatest bore in Christendom and has decided to seize that mantle for himself. He certainly gives that quest a 'red hot go'.
Tom has recently returned from the great war and now spends his time being enigmatic and interesting, or trying to look it. He is sure to fool some, notably the Useless Mysterons and the Boring Clueless Albert Knobbs; the rest of the planet recognises Tom as a tedious, nosey pratt.

The novel itself isn't too bad. It is set at the grand estate of Hannesford, which is ruled benevolently by Lord and Lady Mastodon-Flagellator. The book was absorbing enough, indeed I refrained from setting fire to it during the more tedious passages (as Tom grapples with what a bore he is, and tries to solve the mystery of the dark past of Hannesford). Tom eventually solves it all but the ending is not really that thrilling. Imagine the thrill you get from making your toilet cistern stop leaking water without having to call a plumber and this is the sort of thrill that awaits you.
The Year After is fascinating in that everyone in it seems to be detestable in some way - no wonder their last ball before WW I sucked so incredibly.

Novels aside, Mycroft is pleased to report that local councils around Berry NSW are making some excellent off-lead areas available for dogs. Support these councils by voting early and often (only joking)!

The Descendants - the novel

I seem to be following a pattern of seeing movies and then reading the book on which the movie is based. I am not sure why - perhaps I am hoping for more insight, or something extra in print that just wasn't there on screen.

I should add that I am typing with my chihuahua on my lap and she has managed to take all my keyboard room. This may be a short post, unless she decides to go and snooze elsewhere (unlikely). So, back to the one finger typing.

The Descendants is a novel expanded from a short story written by the same author. I think this shows, as the plot (while clever) starts to run out of steam after a while. It's as though there isn't quite enough material. The first person narrative eventually becomes a little bit dull and I found myself starting to skim over some of the narrator's more tedious introspections. Unfortunately one can't do this in real life.

Certainly this novel was more interesting than 'Albert Nobbs', which is a short story or novella previously discussed on this blog. It might be interesting to insert Albert, the cross dressing intergalactic class bore, into The Descendants.

Better yet, introduce the Mysterons into both The Descendants and Albert Nobbs. After telling everyone of their latest (undoubtedly useless) plan, the Mysterons would then be foiled and would retire to a corner to sulk. They would then dream up another plan destined to achieve stuff all to the power of ten. Go the Mysterons.

In Albert Nobbs meets the a Mysterons, it could go something like this:

Enter Nobbs: "good morning Marm"
Lady Of Quality: "Good morning Nobbs"
The Mysterons: "This is the Voice of the Mysterons. Nobbs is a woman disguised as a man. Now that we have ruined the plot we are going to destroy something. We'll get back to you."
Nobbs: "Those Mysterons really suck"

All we need to do is get all of them on the Island of the Evil Dr Klahn and that would really be a film worth seeing.

Turandot

It's a Sunday and last night Mycroft was at the Opera.  This time, it was Turandot (directed by Graeme Murphy) at the Sydney Opera House.  The three acts of this production make it easy to remain focused.  After each interval, one is refreshed and ready for more drama and love conquering all.  Not being critical, but I must admit it's hard to see why our hero Calaf is so besotted with Turandot.  She does seem to be a rather nasty princess, even on one of her more friendly days.  Character assessments aside, a lavish and exciting production which was enjoyed by a packed house. 

Turandot may perhaps be one of the inspirations for the portrayal of the imperial concubine in George MacDonald Fraser's Flashman and the Dragon.  Yehonala, the imperial concubine, asks no riddles but she is certainly as ruthless as Turandot.  That is probably the limit of the connection as Flashman is no Calaf.  A Flashman opera might be quite a hoot as the anti-hero schemes his way through a series of bedrooms, torture chambers, gambling dens and numerous other seedy haunts of the Victorian era. 

Perhaps 'Flashman' might be Andrew Lloyd Webber's next hit?  I can imagine it having a 1000 year run in London, tourists flocking.  The best part is there would be an endless range of 'amateurs' well qualified to play the lead role of school bully, cad and womaniser! 

This is the voice of the Mysterons

Does anyone else remember the great TV puppet show 'Captain Scarlet'?  Captain Scarlet was part of the organisation 'Spectrum', who of course all had colour names (in advance of 'Reservoir Dogs').  Colonel White was in charge, I think.  The jet pilots do not get colour names (who knows why?) but are called the Angels (apologies to Doc Neeson).


The weak link in this whole shebang are the baddies, 'The Mysterons'.  Their main problem is a tendency to tell everyone what they are about to do.  You would think they would get sick of being stopped by Spectrum and change the plan.  They even have a secret agent, the wicked Captain Black, working against Spectrum.  I suppose Captain Black is cancelled out by Captain Scarlet (apologies to the Pimpernel) who is Indestructable!  Cue the theme song....."In dest ruct able Cap tain Scar let da da da"!

So. Back to the Mysterons.  What is a mystery is why they are so useless.  Every single time they go to do something a voice says "This is the voice of the Mysterons"...as though we don't know.  Only heard it 50 times.  Then..."We are going to destroy [insert place here]".  They always use a really weak riddle to 'disguise' the target (!).  Funnily enough, their plan always ends up in one shape, which is that of a Pear.  Below is a picture of a Mysteron plan, today:

Seriously, why do they bother?  Imagine the Mysterons and the Titanic! "This is the Voice of the Mysterons.  We are going to stick a big iceberg in front of the Titanic".  Absolute waste of effort.  Left to the Mysterons, the Titanic would still be sailing around today.  Below is the Titanic before a Mysteron attack:

The next picture shows the Titanic after a Mysteron attack:

As for the Mysterons, between 1912 and 2012 they would have changed their announcement to "This is the voice of the Mysterons, and we confess that we are all-round Prongs".  That would take about the same amount of time to say, and would represent truth in advertising. 

Sic transit gloria