The Voice

Greetings readers.  Tonight Mycroft is watching another 'The' show.  This time it is 'The Voice'.  The chief entertainment value of this show is the vaguely fascist orientation of the sets. The centrepiece is a fist clutching a microphone, and giving a 'v' for victory sign.  Surrounding this centrepiece are banners hanging down from the walls, coloured red and white and black.  It's like 'Young Talent Time' meets Leni Riefenstahl's 'Triumph of the Will'.

Mycroft has also had a weekend on the roads and in the company of Mrs S and Miss Fluffy was able to identify some of the leading indicators of the motoring loser.  The top 5 indicators of danger are summarised below:

1.  The car sickness strap.  Incredibly, some still believe that attaching a rubber strap to a car so it drags on the road will prevent car sickness. This was a far more common belief in the 1960s and 70s and was often accompanied by the wearing of a hat, or the coating of the interior (which was vinyl) in a layer of clear plastic.

2.  The frangipani sticker on the rear window.  Usually found on a Hyundai Excel, this sticker spells danger.  This, or any other flower sticker.  The only more concerning sticker is the even more ludicrous 'Magic Happens' sticker, usually found on VW Kombi vans driven by manufacturers of fairy paraphernalia.

3.  NSW number plates that have three groups of two characters.  For some reason these seem to feature on cars driven erratically.  There is no science to support the contention that these are 'special' plates, however watch this space for the research to emerge.

4.  Weather shields on the side windows.  These survive into the present day when their former companion pieces, the external sun shade (over the front windscreen) and rear window 'louvre' have disappeared.  The immense plastic window shield was often found on the driver's window of taxis or company cars in the 1970s.  The idea was that you could have the window open to rest your elbow on it, and puff on a smoke, and rain would stay out.  This of course did not work, even though the plastic shield was bigger than a riot squad member's plastic shield.  Smaller versions of the weather shield survive, though to what purpose no-one knows as they would appear even less capable of keeping weather out.  If you see a car fitted with these stupid things, watch out.

5.  Any Mitsubishi Lancer 3 door.  For some reason, these cars seem to be the vehicle of choice for many who simply can't drive.  Usually seen on the roads looking tatty, and filled to the gunwales with heaps of clothes or perhaps sporting items jammed against the windows, these are best avoided.